as long as you don't get paint on the carpet: Frieze Art Fair

Last Friday I had the pleasure of venturing to one of the art world’s most prominent display of contemporary art;
Frieze Art Fair.

I paid £25 for a ticket (that’s with student discount) and not to mention £26 for the coach journey, which was (my god) utterly horrific, BOTH ways. I’m not sure what it is about the customers for the national express at 7am, but if you have a hangover, in future mate, how about NOT spend the entire time of the three hour coach journey stinking the whole coach journey out?! Listening to you puking was enough to drive us re- eyed, sleep deprived students suicidal. The way back just left us somewhat concerned whether we should be calling social services, as mumma-dear kept smacking her kid, no, BABY, because she was being all cute. Okay I guess she was kind of annoying, I suppose having to look after a hyper-active time consuming miniature person 24/7 would get slightly tiresome, and my mumma totally beat me (jokes, but a smack bottom for not eating our Petit Filous was a regular occurrence-we needed it to make our bones grow stronger-right?) and I turned out fine.. anyway listening to babies screaming (yeah there was another one) got FUCKING OLD, QUICKLY. But, the point is, after ALL that we had went through, Frieze had a lot to live up to, and did it? I hear you ask, why yes, despite a few minor issues, it did!

The utterly huge tent in Regents Park had so much art, that once you’d spent a couple of hours wandering around (although we were on a time limit and systematically marched up the aisles) you realise you’ve only seen a third of it. The portaloos were no ordinary portaloos if you get my drift, but I suppose it’s a necessity considering the clientele of the fair; while in the queue we over heard one woman exclaim in her perfect South London Queen’s English “Har, you wouldn’t let them TOUCH your skin har har” referring to Uniqlo jeans (which coincidentally I was actually wearing so it amused me twice as much) apparently she gets all her leg wear imported from America, obviously. Actually come to think of it there seemed to be a number stuck up self-important gentlefolk there, but I guess, despite the saying ‘art is for everyone’ events like Frieze prove that it’s just not. I’m going stop myself before if go on an ‘only the fortunate ones can afford art’ rant, and not even in the sense of buying it , I know, I’ve worked in a city school art department, they didn’t even have a pencil supply, and NONE of the classes I worked with had ever been to an exhibition in their life, so before I go on ranting, I’ll bypass the rude pretentious pencil skirt wearing over sizedglasses whores of the art fair and actually focus on the exhibition.

Pheww got that out.

But there was so much to see; and these are a few of my favourites..